Libercontrarian

Tuesday, 30 November 2004

I Was Wrong - Now, I Am A Tolerant Progressive

OK, I'll admit it. I have been wrong when I disagreed with enlightened citizens from the Center (I can't call true Moderates "Leftists" anymore, as my former Nazi-esque position skewed my individual political scale to the Right) who have been actively defending our freedoms. Here are ten statements of my new-found (Tolerant-Progressive) belief:

1. So-called "Conservatives" are just all a bunch of mean, "no-shades-of-gray," silver-spoon-fed, rich fascists. Their belief structure was created in the unenlightened period of the 18th century, and no longer serves as a model for a society whose technological capabilities could end the thousand-year-problem of world hunger within two years.

2. White people are all evil. Even the white people who don't actively appear to be evil are indeed evil, as a result of societal imbalances. They should all automatically give every personal possession which does not immediately keep them alive to the nearest Person of Color. (BTW, can anybody tell me if I'm a Person of Color? I'm 100% Greek... my skin is dark, and I have dark hair and dark eyes. Give me the keys to your Volvo RIGHT NOW!) This act, while not turning a White person into a good person, will in some small part amend the 400+ years of White-over-Color oppression, and constitutes a Good Start.

3. Marx really had some great ideas; they were just poorly implemented by violent Russians like Stalin. Hey, Microsoft poorly-implements software all the time, but we don't just throw out Windows ME and replace it with Linux, right? Why should we throw the baby out with the bathwater? After all, we shouldn't be working for individual greatness or wealth; all capital should immediately flow from the high-volume producers of it to the people who are least able to fend for their own needs. After all, it's only fair.

4. Hollywood has some really great ideas. I think that when the criminal, election-stealing Bush Administration is deposed by the coming world-wide worker revolt, and a righteous, Centrist government run by Dean, Kucinich, Putin, or Saddam Hussein (who should be immediately restored - at very least - to his seat of power by retreating American troops), is installed, it should consult with Hollywood directors, producers, and studio execs to create the new Federal Education Administration. This body, composed of only the most well-reasoned laureates from our beloved entertainment industry, will be empowered to create the high-quality, progressive education system that the oppressed minorities of the world need for a quality twenty-first century education. Some proposed courses? How about "Filling Out Government Aid Forms 101,"Conservatives - and How They Enslave," "The Fantasy World of Religion" (this will be a senior level course).

5. Ban Dangerous Things. The public ownership of violence-inducing consumer products, like cars that aren't engineered to automatically restrict their speed to the posted limits, all firearms, and household cleaning products, should immediately be banned. Armed soldiers representing the Workers of the World will be coming by your home to collect all banned items. Anyone attempting to hoard such contraband won't be punished, as punishment for crimes will be banned because it equates the state to the criminal. However, such hoarders will be subjected to 24-hour TV news broadcasting images of their evil non-compliance. They will be heckled into submission - but not if they are part of a Minority Aggrieved Group.

6. The Car Problem. We should immediately demand that auto-manufacturers make vehicles 100% out of recycled products. Every future car and truck (you will need government approval to purchase a truck) should have a zero-emission power plant by 2010, as the use of fossil fuels for anything other than the manufacture of 100% recyclable consumer products will be banned by 2011. Hey oil industry! Hear that? It's the sound of the Hammer Coming Down on you!

7. Evil Haliburton needs to go! Haliburton should be immediately dissolved, and its employees should be all lined up - and be submitted to 24-hour TV news broadcasting images of their evil environmental rape. Those employees will be heckled into submission - but not if they are part of a Minority Aggrieved Group.

8. Kids. Kids should be shown the truth about human sexuality as soon as they are old enough to read. They should be made aware that often times, adults will make the conscious decision to date within their own gender. Since marriage is a silly custom from a quaint, religious, and maliciously chauvinistic age, we should encourage couples to "hook up" for as long as they want to, without having to trouble themselves with marriage. Kids shouldn't care who their father is, as not knowing your parentage is the ultimate statement of "diversity." Children will not be permitted to tease one another, as such peer-to-peer abuse affects tender kids almost as pervasively as White people oppress People of Color. Children will be monitored 24-hours a day to ensure that every thought voiced is well-reasoned, progressive statement of societal tolerance of all behaviors and ideas, including ideas that were once deemed "evil" by stifling, fire-n'-brimstone bible-thumping dimwits from the Anti-Dancing League of Baptist-inspired Christianity. Oh, and there shouldn't be any restrictions on any media that children see or hear - after all, they're going to have to deal with The Real World sooner or later.

9. Religious Statements. Every religious statement of a Minority Aggrieved Group, or even of White Jewish/Christian Oppressors, should be immediately expunged from every public record, speech, artwork, flag or other medium of communication. This is how us Tolerant Progressives will ensure that NO RELIGION interferes with, offends, or is even raised as a topic of discussion by persons within 1000 meters of any public institution - including fire hydrants.

10. Drugs and Taxes. Smoking, an act of terrible public destructiveness, should be banned forthwith. Helpful pharmaceuticals like cannabis, cocaine, heroin, and other substances banned by the criminal, election-stealing Bush Administration, should immediately be sold in the marketplace, although they should be heavily regulated - and heavily taxed, as should all substances that cause societal harm. In fact, taxes should go up - way up. Why aren't the rich paying their fair share? After all, if you have a million-dollar income, you can definitely afford to live on $50,000, as is proven every day by poor people forced to live on 1/4 that amount by rich, money-grubbing capitalists. Some will call this "punishing success." I call it "giving back to the community."

Well, there's my Tolerant Progressive platform. Hope you liked it. I actually agree with the little bit about legalizing drugs, as I think that the War on Drugs is equivalent to the War on Booze of the 1920's.

posted by: underwhelmed at November 30, 2004 13:51 | link | comments (6) |

Saturday, 27 November 2004

Black Friday Strikes!

Well, gang, Black Friday struck - I was on my feet 14.75 hours, from 0530 to 2015. I sold 12 phones. I was expecting to sell 17, and lost out to one of my coworkers at another store who sold 19(!). Today, however, he sold four, and I sold eight; not bad on a Saturday, which is usually a crummy day. I was pleasantly surprised at the lack of dramatic problems in the store - no screaming fistfights over DVD players, no tears at not being able to purchase after waiting 5 hours in the snow, nothing.

I am grateful at the polite manner our guests displayed. I have had my belief in the decency of the holiday shopper reaffirmed. I breathe a sigh of relief, and look towards a productive and peaceful holiday retail season.

posted by: nub at November 27, 2004 21:25 | link | comments |

Wednesday, 24 November 2004

Dolphins Enjoying Better Season Than Miami Dolphins

ABC News is reporting a curious phenomenon: Dolphins saved a group of swimmers from attack by a Great White Shark in New Zealand waters yesterday. I have heard stories like this in the past; I find it amazing that a herd of sea creatures can take one look at our ungainly form in the water, and immediately arrive at a group understanding that "this guy ain't supposed to be here, and that damnned shark is gonna eat him. We'd better protect that idiot before he ends up as a steaming pile of shark shit." That these animals would TAKE PROTECTIVE ACTION TO SAVE YOU, in the same manner as you would take to keep an under-monitored two-year-old from sticking a paper clip in a light socket, is truly amazing.

These animals have no reason to save men from what they correctly postulate as a negative outcome (how?), especially since men represent (minor) competitors for the resources of the ocean, but you hear about these curious events happening occasionally. I remember that it happened to a sailor that went overboard in 1990 in the Caribbean; this fellow was kept afloat FOR 12 HOURS by getting pushed up by a pod of dolphins, until the Navy came back to rescue him.

How is it that a dolphin, a dog, or a gorilla is able to save a human, and more importantly, WHY would a creature do something like this? Dogs, I can understand somewhat - they've lived with us for 14,000 + years (this article claims that it could be 100,000 years!), but a sea creature? They live in a liquid medium, and we walk on land... what experience of us do they have that provokes that protective reaction?

posted by: underwhelmed at November 24, 2004 15:09 | link | comments (1) |

Tuesday, 23 November 2004

Odd Report From ABC News About High Speed Internet Use

Here's an oddball report about high-speed internet use on ABC News: In summary, it decries the fact that only 1 in 4 rural internet users have high-speed connections, citing either lack of availability, expense, or lack of need for the product. It also wails about the great misfortune of minorities' lack of access to high-speed internet, and complains that we are lagging behind other nations who are not even competitors to us in the field of trade.

I put forth two potential reasons:

a.) Americans, trained by two decades of ever-downward-spiraling price pressures in consumer electronics, are trained to wait, wait, wait until big screen TVs are $49, and high-speed access is $5.00/month, and:
b.) Those "non-competitor" nations are the ones who have all the employees of the businesses the tech industry outsourced our jobs to, so they need high-speed access to send their code back to their contractors here in the U.S. ;@)

The only reason America needs high-speed access is so that perverts don't have to wait too long for their porn to download!

posted by: underwhelmed at November 23, 2004 10:22 | link | comments |

Dangerous Dan to Depart

Well, gang, it's finally happened - Dangerous Dan, the news-makin' man, is going to leave See B.S. "News."

It looks like only one person, Bill Clinton, can lie directly to the American public, get caught, and get a popularity rating increase.

This is a long time coming, and should have happened almost 20 years ago, the first time See B.S. "News" screwed the pooch.

Good riddance to bad rubbish!

posted by: underwhelmed at November 23, 2004 08:44 | link | comments |

Monday, 22 November 2004

Libercontrarian Preparing for Post-Thanksgiving Crush

So I'm a cell-phone salesman, right? That means Black Friday awaits - the BigBox retailer that my company works inside of does almost 80% of its November business on that one day. Rumor has it that because of "door-breaker" specials (like $50 32" TVs, $5 car stereos, free cell phones, etc.), customers start lining up at 2:00 a.m. They (I'm not kidding) pitch tents, and wait in a line like kids waiting for Lallapalooza tickets. What I have been told is that by 0530, these maniacs are lined up around the block prepared to bust in at opening time; 0600.

Fellow employees have told me of shoppers getting into gigantic fistfights, men punching women, people getting trampled. The Aurora Police are sure to make an appearance, and not simply to direct traffic. Keep in mind, this is all done in the sake of the proper, American celebration of the birth of Our Lord and Savior.

Earlier, bitching about a garage that ripped me off and damaged my car during a "repair", I asked, "Are we really that much in a hurry here in the U.S.?" I suppose that I am again thinking these thoughts, faced with potential disaster on Friday.

Pray for me!

posted by: underwhelmed at November 22, 2004 10:33 | link | comments |

Terrible Tragedy in Wisconsin

This just in from ABC News - a deranged man killed five and wounded three in an apparant dispute over hunting. To make matters worse, the man was using an SKS semi-automatic assault rifle. He was apparantly in a tree-stand trespassing on a farmer's property.

I am hoping that this case does not become a signpost for anti-gun extremists!

posted by: underwhelmed at November 22, 2004 09:52 | link | comments |

Sunday, 21 November 2004

Contrast These Two Men

Most of you know The Libercontrarian, the Sergeant-Major of the Armchair Commando Brigade of Aurora, Colorado as "underwhelmed," a person so under-impressed by his inability to find challenging, useful employment that he identifies himself in lowercase. He's not even excited enough about his employment to capitalize his moniker.

My more faithful readers can look back to a day when I commented about my deep appreciation for the good luck and great fortune we have for being Americans. On that day, I came to realize that I love my life, I am appreciative of the job that I possess, and that my happiness is only dependent upon the self-derived state of my outlook - and that I have it pretty easy!

As Thanksgiving approaches, we should be once again mindful of the Blessings of Our Lord who has bestowed upon us a (mostly) righteous nation, and of our individual good fortunes for the year. I'm sure all the "Jesusland" labelers are spinning in their chairs right now, vomit and froth spouting from their tortured mouths ;@). Ralph? Ralphie boy? It's OK, I won't hit you with any more religion than that, bro. Wouldn't want you to have a seizure, or nuttin'.

What all of this is leading up to is my contrast of two men I met Friday night in my retail store (I sell cell phones, and am pretty dog-gone good at it). One man, about my age, maybe younger, is dressed in a fashionable camo sweater - he's stocky, head shorn in the unmistakable pattern of a "high and tight." His bearing and look says "military" all the way. I asked him if I could give him a hand, and we got to talkin' - he's the CO (that's Commanding Officer to you, Ralphie) of a Marine Company here in the Denver metro area. I believe he's a reservist. This man has buried four Marines this week, lost in the fighting at Fallujah. He is traveling around the country, comforting bereaved parents. The Major is humble, decent, smart, friendly, and kind. He is the man at the forefront of the homebound Marine's toughest mission - he gets to be the guy who drives up to a Marine's home and report to his parents or wife or kids the terrible sacrifice that their child or husband or father has made for the safety of our nation. I enjoyed talking with him, and could not help wondering if I had chosen a different path - stayed in the Navy as a Surface Warfare Officer instead of retreating back to civilian life when I flunked out of flight school, if I would have served with this man, and if he would have called me "comrade."

I contrast the ethic of this noble man with the customer who slithered up to me next - his daughter had her prepaid cell-phone stolen from her that he bought a month earlier, and he "wondered" if there was any kind of warranty. "Like what?," I asked. I was thinking, "like when you were in grade school and you dropped your lunch, if they'd give you another one for free?" He slithered around the point - he was obviously asking me if I - or AT&T - would just give him another cell phone.

So I pressed him on the point, mostly because I'm a prick. I wanted to see how far he was going to take this; if he truly felt that his daughter's irresponsibility, which was certainly imparted from him, was someone else's duty to "overcome."

"Are you asking me if AT&T will pay for another cell phone as a result of your daughter losing hers?"

"Ye--ess?"

"No sir," I said with obvious relish, "if you didn't buy insurance on that phone - and I'm not even sure that they offer any such thing for a pre-paid unit - your daughter is responsible for keeping track of her phone. The good news is that a replacement is only $139, which is cheaper than what it was when you bought it three months ago." This brought on a wishy-washy, fumbled affirmation from him.

Now, what adult needs to be told such a thing? Why do I have one man in front of me who has the responsibility for looking out for the lives of hundreds of young Marines, and whom has been blessed with such capabilities of responsibility, and another who raises an irresponsible child because he himself is irresponsible?

"... Every one to whom much is given, of him will much be required; and of him to whom men commit much they will demand the more." Luke, chapter 12, verse 48 (sorry, Ralph).

posted by: underwhelmed at November 21, 2004 18:51 | link | comments (9) |

Thursday, 18 November 2004

Red State Rage?

In my comments below to Eric Cowperthwaite, I outlined my arguments against the liberal push in America. I think that I accidentally put an appliqué on many people's emotions about the outcome of the elections, and why they occurred the way they did. Here's what I said:

"...they (Lefty BlueState Elitist/Professor/Coffeehouse-types) think that we're stupid enough not to realize that they are trying to marginalize gun owners as some sort of "red-state-trailer-trash," people who're barely convinced the 20th century has gotten underway. These haters feel that it is their duty to slowly apply phony societal pressure on us so that we will disavow our heritage, our hobbies, and our rights like they lobby for other, more general declines in the quality of American society, and the breakdowns of cultural norms. They want to use the same slick marketing - that which ushers us into the malls to spend our hard-earned coin on Brittany Spears CDs - on the dumbing-down of our culture/education, and THEY THINK WE ARE TOO DENSE TO NOTICE!

The arrogance of such a thing! Whenever I watch the TV or read media that makes an assault on my racial group, my interests, my religion, and my values, I am not ashamed by their heavy-handed tactics into thinking my beliefs are inferior, I am enraged at seeing them portrayed unfairly. The reason why I voted as I did is thus clearly identifiable.

Would you call this "Red-State Rage?"

posted by: underwhelmed at November 18, 2004 21:17 | link | comments (22) |

Illinois State Policy Endangers Its Citizens

When I lived in southern Illinois in 1994-95, I noticed that whitetail deer were all over the place - literally. I went back to college at Southern Illinois University at Carbondale, and the deer would walk onto our campus and eat from feed barrels. If you were dumb enough to drive down a country road at night there, you would see hundreds lining the road, their foolish eyes reflecting your headlight-glare back at you. All you could do is pray that none of them would run out in front of your car. Now that the deer population has grown to 25 million nationwide (from 10 million in 1990) and 700,000 to 800,000 in the state of Illinois, whitetail deer have become the deadliest game animal in the United States, killing 100+ people a year in 1.5 million vehicle-deer collisions costing $1.1 billion in losses, according to the Insurance Information Institute's reporting of their sister body, the IIHS.

I knew some hunters in southern Illinois - the state would issue one deer tag a year to them. In Illinois, you can't use a rifle to hunt deer, so you've got to use a shotgun. This limits you to a 50-100 yard shot. This is pretty close; male deer have a terrific sense of smell and will stay outside the range of shotgun-restricted hunters. Many of my friends would report that they would hit more deer with their cars than they were legally allowed to take in season!

All of this insanity came about as a result of the leftist control by Chicago over the downstate's gun owners and hunters. Illinois is really a red state ruthlessly dictated by one massive, blue metropolis, and the citizens of Chicago could care less that downstate Illinoisans have to deal with things like this, from ABC News:

"The Illinois Department of Transportation said there were 25,660 vehicle accidents involving deer in 2003, up from 23,647 reported in 2002."

The State of Illinois forces gun owners to possess a Firearms Owners I.D. card to purchase ammunition or buy a gun - I was looking at the U.S. Constitution the other day and saw no mention of any card required for citizens to be permitted their gun ownership rights. How would you react to some phony-baloney state government requirement that you apply for permission to peaceably assemble so that your group can criticize the government, or for you to be a practicing Catholic or atheist? How would you like it if you had to register with some government body for a permit not to be a slave, or to seek permission to vote simply because you're a woman? Ridiculous - and unconstitutional, too.

Why are the citizens of Illinois permitting their idiotarian state government to mismanage wildlife in the southern part of the state, endangering the lives and property of the citizens, and the welfare of the poor animals (numbers ever-increasing) competing for limited resources there? I suspect that it is because the state government in Chicago has some very oddball fears of gun owners and hunting, and that the farmer's lobbies (farmers lose an unspeakable quantity of corn to deer) are unable to defeat the anti-gun special interest groups in Springfield, all because of the clout of the corrupt political machine that got Jack Kennedy "elected" illegally to the presidency by "voting early and often." Here's a quote from the Illinois Farm Bureau:

"...Deer overpopulation also could lead to more cases of Lyme disease, thus increasing human health risks.

Crop damage from overpopulation of wildlife also can be extensive."

It's time for the red-state citizens of southern Illinois to get the legislature to give out more deer tickets, have longer seasons, allow rifle hunting (as long as the shots downfield are sure to impact a good backstop), and to get rid of the F.O.I.D. Dis ain't 19-toity, and Machine Gun Kelly ain't gonna be gunning nobodys down wit' his Tommy gun. It's the 21st century - time for blue-stater types and disaffected urbanites to wake up and allow hunters to take care of deer overpopulation.

posted by: underwhelmed at November 18, 2004 05:26 | link | comments (6) |

Wednesday, 17 November 2004

Closet Conservative Accuses Arafat of "infidelic" behavior

The Closet Conservative, a new blogger, has reported that Yassir The Terrorist died of cirrhosis of the liver.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong - isn't that a curious way for a righteous adherent of Islam to die? Oh, that's right - he was poisoned by Those JOOOOOOOOS! It's the Evil Jews!

What'd the Mossad do, put a case of Canadian Mist outside his Ramalla HQ? AHHHH HAA HAA HAA!

posted by: underwhelmed at November 17, 2004 14:19 | link | comments (2) |

Tuesday, 16 November 2004

It's the Little Things

If you are one of the three people that reads my blog regularly (this would include my wife, me, and some shut-in with a limited imagination) you probably remember my report of my car problems from last week (If you are reading about them here for the first time, read this for reference). Well, I was spared the $1,000 expense of purchasing and having installed a new VANOS (BMW's name for their variable valve-timing system) because BMW put out one of their "silent recalls" on the unit, and listed some updated parts that make it work like it's supposed to, without rattling. My mechanic installed them, and now the car runs quietly - kind of like every other better-enginered car on the road.

I eagerly paid the $315 bill this morning, and set out to wash my car, dirty after a week of sitting at my mechanic's. Unhappily, I discovered two new, big scratches on the car that weren't there prior to my dropping it off, and upon my arrival home, I smelled coolant leaking out. As you might expect, if you spend $1,500 in auto repairs on your car in two weeks, the last thing you want to see is: a.) body damage, and b.) a new problem that threatens the state of your car's operation and possibly your safety.

Understandably, I was... severely unimpressed. I discovered that the mechanics left a loose hose clamp that was allowing coolant to spill out, so there wasn't a grave problem; I was able to resolve the problem by making a tool (I'm sure that the liberals reading this blog will want to recall Dian Fossey from the dead to confirm that Koko the Gorilla MADE A TOOL, a first in evolution) to hold the loose hoseclamp in place while I tightened it with a screwdriver. Problem fixed, and repair confirmed after a long road-test.

You're probably asking yourself, "Why didn't Koko take the car back for them to correct the issues?"

Why? If this garage couldn't see fit to pay enough attention to the detail of (the SECOND repair, natch) tightening a hose clamp, not carrying tools carelessly around my car, or insuring that the fender protector didn't have a piece of gravel on it that would scratch the fender, then how would I assume that they'd be able to do any better on their third try?

This raises a question that I feel is pertinent: Are you paying attention to the details in your job? Are you forced to work at such a pace that you miss critical details about your assignments that put customers, your employer, your students, citizens at risk? Are you really paying attention to the little things at work? You should know that it's the little things that matter - what if the security screeners in Boston and D.C. on September 11, 2001 had been a little more careful about the box-cutters that slipped in under their radar? Maybe 2,973 Americans would be doing the goofy, mundane things that people do, instead of moldering in the grave.

Why is the amount of production in this country so greatly valued above it's quality? I couldn't care less if you produce 10 tons of feces daily; I'd rather you produce 10 good products or services. I'm patient. I could have waited another day for these hose-heads to make my car truly ready for me to pick up. Are you sure that your customers, fellow employees, and your employer can't wait just a little longer for you to check the quality of your work?

Are we really that much in a hurry here in the U.S.?

posted by: underwhelmed at November 16, 2004 17:07 | link | comments (5) |

Monday, 15 November 2004

Iran Cancelling Uranium Enrichment

Is it just me, or are the hostile Arab nations reacting the way we want them to when they see evidence of American resolve? It looks like Iran is backing off plans to enrich uranium, and I can't help thinking that the mullahs are taking a hard look at the violence of the American attack on the Fallujah "stronghold" and thinking, "Gee, it looks like these guys are serious..."

Didn't this happen last year with Qaddafi and his WMD program after we invaded Iraq?

posted by: underwhelmed at November 15, 2004 10:14 | link | comments |

Arab Man Torches Himself

Fox News is reporting that an Arab man has lit himself aflame at the northeastern gate of the White House. The strong smell of gasoline is reputed to be evident; it is unknown whether he is alive or dead.

I am guessing that this individual is unhappy about something, or is having some very, very severe problems with his Zippo.

posted by: underwhelmed at November 15, 2004 10:03 | link | comments |

Sunday, 14 November 2004

Can We Just Kindly Admit the Truth About Abortion?

If you've been alive more than 12 years, you might have an inkling of the rancorous nature of the debate between participants in the abortion argument.

Why?

Because Conservatives (read: Busybody EchoChristians) are desperately trying to tie the penalty of having children to the animalistic drive to "git it on," and "Liberals" (read: Social Utopianists) are terrified that their mindless pursuit of hedonistic and irresponsible behavior will be tied to the inconvenient raising of unwanted babies, stifling their "creative urges" and their ability to Save the Whales.

I think that it is helpful to note here my bias: I am a Christian, although one who is unlikely to strike you in the forehead with the New Testament. I believe that your walk with God has to be completed on your own terms. While I know that we will all surely answer for anything we individually did wrong at the back end, it ain't me that you're gonna answer to, so I can't hold you accountable for your stupidity.

This argument of whether an abortion constitutes the taking of a human life or the making-illegal of the equivalent of a cavity being drilled reveals the hidden nature behind the intentions of its most heated participants - and the fact that both claim a "higher purpose" (Busybody EchoChristian, parroting well-worn phrase: "You're killing an unborn baby!" Lefty, parroting ridiculous, holocaust-denial: "You're restricting my right to choose!") clearly demonstrates that both believe that controlling the other is truly the goal, and each will try to get there no matter how it makes their camp look to the rest of the world.

posted by: underwhelmed at November 14, 2004 23:14 | link | comments |

Clinton's Library Makes Its Big Debut

Is it me, or does The Unredeemable One's new library in Ar-kansas look a lot like a big trailer? Guess it reminds me of his humble beginnings - and of his continuing mobile-home mentality. I was watching Geraldo's breathless coverage of President Unrepentant's grand-opening, and right before he brought on former co-conspirator Eleanor Clift (remember how these two would dance, arm-in-arm, with one another during Clinton's impeachment hearings? That's right, Geraldo - you can support American troops in the field as much as you want and I'll still never forgive you for defending the Blue Dress Ejaculator-in-Chief's heroic cover-ups), he described how over 300,000 visitors will go to the library for a visit.

I won't be one of them. In fact, the 3rd Armored Division couldn't lash me to an Abrams Main Battle Tank and drag me there. This person disgraced the Oval Office with shenanigans that, owing to the limited storage capacity of the of the 36 servers that run this blog, I am unable to fully document unless I use a special compression algorithm designed by IBM scientists.

But the Left loves to call our current President "Bushitler," "Chimp," and "Shrub," and whines about the election results. Can we kindly just MoveOn-dot-org?

posted by: underwhelmed at November 14, 2004 22:19 | link | comments |

The Best Blog Post I've Ever Read

Well, I guess that I can finally disconnect my computer from the telephone line. I may stop blogging altogether! Why?

I've read the best blog rant that I've ever seen. It's the best one that I'll ever see, too, so I now know that any effort I make to create functioning text on screen that coincides with intelligent thought will look like Koko the Gorilla making smash-smash on key banana to produce Shakespeare's works.

Anyway, go see Mike at Cold Fury and delight in the sweetness of his violent logic!

posted by: underwhelmed at November 14, 2004 19:47 | link | comments |

Friday, 12 November 2004

Welcome Demosophist

In Greek, "demosophia" is the "people's logic." Our newest blogger on the roll is, no surprise, a lover of sophostry in the democratic tradition. Go and read Demosophist; you will like what you see.

posted by: underwhelmed at November 12, 2004 20:56 | link | comments |

SIx-Year-Old Feelin' the HEAT of Political Correctness

This should be a day to celebrate for those of John Edwards' ilk - PC and threat of lawsuits finally reached their zenith today when a six-year-old child HAD TO BE TASERED by police when he was acting irrationally and threatening himself with a sharp piece of glass. The principal, when confronted by this misbehaving child was probably thinking, "I don't want to lose my job because of this, so I can't touch the child - and I want witnesses," and the cops are bound by ridiculous procedure when confronted by "dangerous first-graders" for the same reason.

So the solution is to taser a kid?

How about we taser a lawyer every time he brings a valueless case to court? That'd reduce the number of needless Caesarian Sections, tasered six-year-olds, and people suing who've burned their crotches with exceedingly warm McDonald's coffee.

posted by: underwhelmed at November 12, 2004 20:41 | link | comments (1) |

Peterson Guilty and I Don't Care

Now that the jury has reached it's eminantly wise decision, can we kindly get back to frickin' matters that actually MEAN something?

Thanks. Just checking.